I’ve been trying to deal with this stuff the best I can. It’s really hard. I’m trying to move on (I’m working on 2 girls, NEITHER of which will return my calls), but at the same time, I don’t REALLY want to. I still love Deanna. She’s the mother of my child for Christ’s sake. Today (well, Saturday, you know what I mean) when I brought Matt back to her (I had him overnight Friday! YAY!!!) I went upstairs to set up her printer (which we couldn’t do - it was missing a cable that was CLEARLY labeled missing on the box, but the woman who got it for her didn’t bother to procure for her). She came up, changed her clothes in front of me, but then the kicker… shortly before I was leaving, I went to give her a hug (don’t ask me why), and it seemed she hugged me even harder back. I couldn’t help but to say “I love you” and… she said it back. I’m so confused…

I SO want this to mean something, but I don’t dare get my hopes up. She says she’s breaking up with her current boyfriend (THANK GOD, if you knew what I know about him…) but she doesn’t say she’s coming back… so we’ll see what happens. At least she still has feelings for me.

I’ve been working out, and you know what? Below my fat, I really like my body. It has a real nice muscle structure. I can’t wait to get it a little more defined. Work work work, drink drink drink (water)!

Speaking of work, I also hope I can find work soon, because money is running out fast, and the painting job that I thought I had never really materialized.

Anyway, I’ll write again as soon as something turns up, but don’t hold your breath if you want tech news and views. My family life is all I can think about (part of, not the only part, but part of the reason I want Deanna back is so I can have my son full time again).

Thanks for reading, if there are any still out there (feel free to comment so I can know if ANYONE is still reading). Sorry I’ve not been more prolific.

Sunday, January 21st, 2007 @ 3:40 am Narcipost, Matt, Work, Updates, Girlfriend
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