Well, beyond the fantastic weather, anyway. Deanna called me this morning (she’s been calling me a lot lately, it’s really nice), and we talked for a little bit. The rest of my morning was spent in hibernation due to the blizzard outside. Well, that and sending out a list of references to a possible new job (had the interview on Tuesday, it was up at MailRite in Putney. I’m REALLY hoping that I get this job, it’s a sitdown-and-type-at-a-computer style job, it STARTS with a week of vacation time (RIGHT OFF THE BAT!), health insurance, 401k after a year, the only bad part? It’s an entry level position, and she thinks I’m overqualified. Because it’s entry level, they can only pay me $11 or $12 AN HOUR!!!! They think that’s a SMALL AMOUNT! I’m SO PSYKED!! I wish this job could have come along before Deanna left… we might still be together.

Speaking of which, after sending my references, I lay down for a short nap. About 10 minutes into this (I’ve never been good with naps anyway), I got a call from… Deanna! She invited me over to go sliding with her and Matt. So, after shoveling out the car (and putting bags on my feet since I didn’t have boots) I hopped on the worlds worst roads (in a Civic with summer tires no less!) and made the 15 minute (though in this weather it was more a half hour) drive over to them. We had a grand old time out in the snow. But, as with many children, eventually our little snood fell down and got all snowy, so we took him inside and warmed him up. We played games, built blocks, all sorts of good stuff for a good three hours. Deanna even sent me a rose by way of text message. She’s a sweet heart. But, sadly, all good things must come to an end. It was time to go; the snow was getting too high. But before I did Deanna and Matt gave me the cutest little Valentine: a tiny box of chocolates, signed by them, with a little “we <3 u" on the tag. I'm so lucky. She also liked the card that Matt and I made for her, and said the card that I made for Matt was cute (I had her sign it). In the not too distant past (less then a week) she's said she really does want what we had... someday. I really hope someday is sooner rather then later. I love them so much.

And she even called me before she went to bed, just like she has been doing for the last few nights. I hope this lasts, I just love having contact with her. For some reason, it means so much to me. It really brightens up my day to her from her, find out how our little guy's doing, all that Jazz. Oh! And she's finally left the 40 year old. Of course, there's still other guys, but at least I don't think any of them are dangerous any more. Thank god for that.

Anyway, I'll try to write more often (I'm very bad about this stuff). If anyone cares, someday there will be a little site on the internet known as www.bentleyfamily.us. It’s not live yet (still very much in construction), but it should be a great little spot to keep up on Matt and stuff. Best part? It’s ripe for personalization. Maybe host my resume at marvin.bentleyfamily.us? Just a thought.

At any rate, have a good one, and thanks for sticking with me.

I’ve been trying to deal with this stuff the best I can. It’s really hard. I’m trying to move on (I’m working on 2 girls, NEITHER of which will return my calls), but at the same time, I don’t REALLY want to. I still love Deanna. She’s the mother of my child for Christ’s sake. Today (well, Saturday, you know what I mean) when I brought Matt back to her (I had him overnight Friday! YAY!!!) I went upstairs to set up her printer (which we couldn’t do - it was missing a cable that was CLEARLY labeled missing on the box, but the woman who got it for her didn’t bother to procure for her). She came up, changed her clothes in front of me, but then the kicker… shortly before I was leaving, I went to give her a hug (don’t ask me why), and it seemed she hugged me even harder back. I couldn’t help but to say “I love you” and… she said it back. I’m so confused…

I SO want this to mean something, but I don’t dare get my hopes up. She says she’s breaking up with her current boyfriend (THANK GOD, if you knew what I know about him…) but she doesn’t say she’s coming back… so we’ll see what happens. At least she still has feelings for me.

I’ve been working out, and you know what? Below my fat, I really like my body. It has a real nice muscle structure. I can’t wait to get it a little more defined. Work work work, drink drink drink (water)!

Speaking of work, I also hope I can find work soon, because money is running out fast, and the painting job that I thought I had never really materialized.

Anyway, I’ll write again as soon as something turns up, but don’t hold your breath if you want tech news and views. My family life is all I can think about (part of, not the only part, but part of the reason I want Deanna back is so I can have my son full time again).

Thanks for reading, if there are any still out there (feel free to comment so I can know if ANYONE is still reading). Sorry I’ve not been more prolific.

A lot of things have happened sense last we spoke. As you all know, my folks house burned down. Well, a day afterward, Deanna told me we were taking a break from each other. One week later, she broke up with me (after meeting another guy, and lots of other things that I won’t get into here). And sense then, I’ve just been so deep in depression that I couldn’t really speak to anyone here, this place of reverence for her. It… was hard to go on, sometimes the only things keeping me going were our son, Matt, and the hope (vain prayer, by now) that she’ll one day grow up and come back.

But, life goes on, things still keep going, and I need to move on (either temporarily, or permanently). It’s just hard… she left me so suddenly. I really had thought that I didn’t have to worry about losing her… but then one day… she was gone. But not smoothly. She kept sending mixed signals. Calling me when her current boyfriend hurt her (almost every week), still kissing sometimes, still with the love. That’s all stopped, she said I make her feel too sorry for me (as if I’m the one who did something wrong). I… well, if she ever gets her own head straightened out, I’d take her back in an instant, even after all she’s done to me (just trust me, a lot over the last 6 months).

The worst part of all this, is our little boy. I see him more then most other separated fathers get to see their kids, but I didn’t do anything wrong! 3 hours a day, 2 days a week. Then overnight for one or two days (alternating weeks). He’s so happy when we’re together, too. I feel so bad for little Matt. I just wish she’d at least TRY to work this out. But she want’s to be “A Kid” and do stuff teens do, up ’till the last few months I was the only guy she’d ever been with. But I just wish she’d give us a chance. We had such a bright future. We were getting married! WE’D JUST BOUGHT A FREAKIN’ HOUSE!!!

I just wish she’d give us another chance. I still love her, and I’m afraid that even if she never comes back, I always will…

Well, I didn’t get to blog from onsite, but at least I’m getting in one more post this weekend. Deanna’s driving, and I’m just hanging out. It was a good time. If you ever have a chance to go to Hershey Park, do so. It’s quite a blast. They’ve got very good rides (I recommend The Great Bear, it’s named for The Big Dipper (Ursa Major), and it’s just as impressive. It’s a top down coaster (meaning you get strapped in and the floor goes out from underneath you), and it has 7 different points of interest - one for each star in the constilation. All in all, though, it’s a great park. Just DON’T GO TO THE WOK AND ROLL!!! The food is horrable, and the price is nuts ($8.99 for a small plate of pepper steak, cruddy lo mein, and some roughage they claimed was pork fried rice (if there’s any pig out there that tastes THAT bad, I feel sorry for it). But yeah, beyond that nonsense it was great.Worth noting if you plan to go, is to keep an eye on the candy bars. Below you can see this creepy Hershey Bar staring at me. I can only assume he wanted to eat me. Frankly, I don’t know if I can look at a candy bar the same way again:

Anyway, we’re now heading home, and fighting our way through 8 hours of joyful traffic (hopfully there won’t be a 2 hour traffic jam this time). Wish us luck!
UPDATE: Before I got a chance to upload this, I got this great pic of Matt. Like father like son, eh?

Or at least that’s what I would have said a half hour ago. I had this whole post written up (using cellphone typing none-the-less) about how I’m all modern using my Moto Razr to moblog. Then, after blowing an hour typing up three paragraphs or so I tried to upload it and BOOM! I had run out of cell service . But hey, that’s the way it goes. Anyway, moblogging is neat, but better is using my laptop in the car to type up a post and then post it as wifi becomes available. Heck, we’re headed into PA, who was trying to get wifi all over some of their cities a little while ago, so wifi shouldn’t be TOO hard to come by.

Anyway, we’re headed to Hershey Park for the weekend (that’s how I’m able to blog: vacation!), and we hit this HUGE traffic jam (I guess this trucker jacknifed his rig and killed himself and a maybe some other people, anyway it was a lot of cars). As we were trying to get back on our way (which took going in circles like 3 times) Deanna told me to nose my way into another lane, so I did. However, as I was trying to get in front of this chick (who was glued to her cell phone) she just keeps going ahead! We scrape, and she got the gift that keeps on giving: free paint on her new SUV. Witch with a capital B, if you ask me. I just can’t beleive people are that numb. SHE DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE ANYTHING BAD HAPPENED!!!

But yeah, people are stupid. Yes, I know I’m using a computer, but I’M NOT DRIVING!!! That makes a difference.

Anyway, I have the laptop with me this weekend, I’ll try to post again as I’m able. Later, and remember: if you’re going to moblog, do make sure to save your work often so you don’t run outta cell service.