OK, Facebook has this interesting feature whereby they (after getting the proper information) log into your email, and find out who of your contacts are already part of Facebook. Great, right? Well, after that, they ALSO offer to notify the REST of your contacts (the one’s who arn’t part of Facebook already). And it defaults to them all being messaged. Well, needless to say, one miss-click, and my ENTIRE FREAKIN’ CONTACT LIST (which is large, to say the least) got spammed with my Facebook invite. So, Facebook, I hate you. I hate you like George Bush Jr. hates the SATs. I hate you like Paris Hilton hated her virginity. I hate you harder then Superman’s abs. I hate you.

Just want to give a quick shout-out to the good folks over at Flock.com. They make one hell of a browser (keep up the good work gang!). Thanks a lot to my friend Paul for reminding me just how good they are. Now, if they’d only integrate with Myspace (and let the Blogging Client cross-post to it too!), they’d be golden!

Just thought it’d be nice to send some more music out there, so here’s another piece I’ve written over the years, it’s a string quartet piece that’s currently played electronically. Free, in low bitrate, dialup friendly glory! Click and enjoy (or not, your call )!

In other news, I loves me some Guitar Hero, er, Frets on Fire, rather.

I was recently lucky enough to happen upon a X-Plorer for $16 (a gentlemen was being offered $15 for it at Gamestop, I upped the ante ). Ironically, I got it the same day I got my other piece of news. Speaking of which…

It’s odd. When I think of Amanda, I don’t really feel like it’s Over. Instead, I feel really at peace, like I’m biding my time or something. I don’t know if it’s just some self defense mechanism (as opposed to opening itself to depression, maybe my brain has decided that I’ll deal with this better), or if I’m subconsciously picking up on something she’s doing/saying (it’s kind of nice, her siblings seem to be rooting for her to get back with me instead of this other fellow), or what’s going on. But, well, I have hope (and interestingly, this feels different from my previous “hope” with Deanna; it’s less about what I’m losing (in terms of my son and such forth), and more about her specifically), and as humans, is there really much more that we require for basic mental sustenance (surely not for health, but just to “get by” mentally)? And the weird part is, it’s not a desperate hope. It’s, well, more inexorable. Likely just my brain trying to take care of me, but it’s still a nice feeling. I can safely say that this is the best breakup with a girl that I really cared about that I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy that we broke up. But it just feels so… temporary for some reason. Yeah, I know I’m weird. But that’s why you folks read me, right?

‘Till next time, my dear readers, I thank you for your time, your support, and your interest. Adieu, and good night!

Tags: RomanticInterest, Guitar Hero, Frets on Fire, X-Plorer, Deal, I Hate Facebook, Flock, Amanda, Girlfriend Situation, Rock God, String Theory

I refuse to close down. I know, no one’s reading anymore. I don’t blame you. But hey, this can still be my own private place, right?

Let’s see…. stuff’s going well at the job (LOVING working at Mailrite), I’m seeing Matt less and less but there’s not really much I can do about it , and… yeah. Just trying to keep trucking!

Lots of interesting things have been happening in the tech world lately. I installed the latest release of Ubuntu on a laptop, then gave it to Mom & Dad, so they can finally have a computer. Mom’s LOVING it. And I gotta say, if you’re interested in Linux, 7.10 is QUITE the release. VERY easy to get up and running.

Really looking forward to the next release of the OpenMoko platform. I can’t afford a cellphone right now, but when I can, BOY do I know what I’m getting.

Not gonna get my hopes up, but I’m currently talking to a girl on myspace, we’ll see where that goes (wish me luck! I always had a crush on her in highschool).

I’m done stressing over Deanna, just too painful. If she ever wants to show that she can really pull things off, and I’m single then, maybe. But she was VERY hurtful, so I don’t even know (might be worth it, just for Matt’s sake though).

Currently working on the company website. The current one (www.mailritevt.com) sucks. Well, it sucks now. Hopefully, in not too long, mine will be at that address .

Usual Slashdot activity, trolling for news . Oh, and I’m trying to get OFF featured on Security Now, but not much luck yet.

Anyway, I’ll try to update a little more often (once ever six months or so is a little dry lol). Anyway, ’till next time, dear reader (if you’re even still there)!

P.S.: Play Portal!

Tags: Nacipost, News

Well, beyond the fantastic weather, anyway. Deanna called me this morning (she’s been calling me a lot lately, it’s really nice), and we talked for a little bit. The rest of my morning was spent in hibernation due to the blizzard outside. Well, that and sending out a list of references to a possible new job (had the interview on Tuesday, it was up at MailRite in Putney. I’m REALLY hoping that I get this job, it’s a sitdown-and-type-at-a-computer style job, it STARTS with a week of vacation time (RIGHT OFF THE BAT!), health insurance, 401k after a year, the only bad part? It’s an entry level position, and she thinks I’m overqualified. Because it’s entry level, they can only pay me $11 or $12 AN HOUR!!!! They think that’s a SMALL AMOUNT! I’m SO PSYKED!! I wish this job could have come along before Deanna left… we might still be together.

Speaking of which, after sending my references, I lay down for a short nap. About 10 minutes into this (I’ve never been good with naps anyway), I got a call from… Deanna! She invited me over to go sliding with her and Matt. So, after shoveling out the car (and putting bags on my feet since I didn’t have boots) I hopped on the worlds worst roads (in a Civic with summer tires no less!) and made the 15 minute (though in this weather it was more a half hour) drive over to them. We had a grand old time out in the snow. But, as with many children, eventually our little snood fell down and got all snowy, so we took him inside and warmed him up. We played games, built blocks, all sorts of good stuff for a good three hours. Deanna even sent me a rose by way of text message. She’s a sweet heart. But, sadly, all good things must come to an end. It was time to go; the snow was getting too high. But before I did Deanna and Matt gave me the cutest little Valentine: a tiny box of chocolates, signed by them, with a little “we <3 u" on the tag. I'm so lucky. She also liked the card that Matt and I made for her, and said the card that I made for Matt was cute (I had her sign it). In the not too distant past (less then a week) she's said she really does want what we had... someday. I really hope someday is sooner rather then later. I love them so much.

And she even called me before she went to bed, just like she has been doing for the last few nights. I hope this lasts, I just love having contact with her. For some reason, it means so much to me. It really brightens up my day to her from her, find out how our little guy's doing, all that Jazz. Oh! And she's finally left the 40 year old. Of course, there's still other guys, but at least I don't think any of them are dangerous any more. Thank god for that.

Anyway, I'll try to write more often (I'm very bad about this stuff). If anyone cares, someday there will be a little site on the internet known as www.bentleyfamily.us. It’s not live yet (still very much in construction), but it should be a great little spot to keep up on Matt and stuff. Best part? It’s ripe for personalization. Maybe host my resume at marvin.bentleyfamily.us? Just a thought.

At any rate, have a good one, and thanks for sticking with me.

I’ve been trying to deal with this stuff the best I can. It’s really hard. I’m trying to move on (I’m working on 2 girls, NEITHER of which will return my calls), but at the same time, I don’t REALLY want to. I still love Deanna. She’s the mother of my child for Christ’s sake. Today (well, Saturday, you know what I mean) when I brought Matt back to her (I had him overnight Friday! YAY!!!) I went upstairs to set up her printer (which we couldn’t do - it was missing a cable that was CLEARLY labeled missing on the box, but the woman who got it for her didn’t bother to procure for her). She came up, changed her clothes in front of me, but then the kicker… shortly before I was leaving, I went to give her a hug (don’t ask me why), and it seemed she hugged me even harder back. I couldn’t help but to say “I love you” and… she said it back. I’m so confused…

I SO want this to mean something, but I don’t dare get my hopes up. She says she’s breaking up with her current boyfriend (THANK GOD, if you knew what I know about him…) but she doesn’t say she’s coming back… so we’ll see what happens. At least she still has feelings for me.

I’ve been working out, and you know what? Below my fat, I really like my body. It has a real nice muscle structure. I can’t wait to get it a little more defined. Work work work, drink drink drink (water)!

Speaking of work, I also hope I can find work soon, because money is running out fast, and the painting job that I thought I had never really materialized.

Anyway, I’ll write again as soon as something turns up, but don’t hold your breath if you want tech news and views. My family life is all I can think about (part of, not the only part, but part of the reason I want Deanna back is so I can have my son full time again).

Thanks for reading, if there are any still out there (feel free to comment so I can know if ANYONE is still reading). Sorry I’ve not been more prolific.

A lot of things have happened sense last we spoke. As you all know, my folks house burned down. Well, a day afterward, Deanna told me we were taking a break from each other. One week later, she broke up with me (after meeting another guy, and lots of other things that I won’t get into here). And sense then, I’ve just been so deep in depression that I couldn’t really speak to anyone here, this place of reverence for her. It… was hard to go on, sometimes the only things keeping me going were our son, Matt, and the hope (vain prayer, by now) that she’ll one day grow up and come back.

But, life goes on, things still keep going, and I need to move on (either temporarily, or permanently). It’s just hard… she left me so suddenly. I really had thought that I didn’t have to worry about losing her… but then one day… she was gone. But not smoothly. She kept sending mixed signals. Calling me when her current boyfriend hurt her (almost every week), still kissing sometimes, still with the love. That’s all stopped, she said I make her feel too sorry for me (as if I’m the one who did something wrong). I… well, if she ever gets her own head straightened out, I’d take her back in an instant, even after all she’s done to me (just trust me, a lot over the last 6 months).

The worst part of all this, is our little boy. I see him more then most other separated fathers get to see their kids, but I didn’t do anything wrong! 3 hours a day, 2 days a week. Then overnight for one or two days (alternating weeks). He’s so happy when we’re together, too. I feel so bad for little Matt. I just wish she’d at least TRY to work this out. But she want’s to be “A Kid” and do stuff teens do, up ’till the last few months I was the only guy she’d ever been with. But I just wish she’d give us a chance. We had such a bright future. We were getting married! WE’D JUST BOUGHT A FREAKIN’ HOUSE!!!

I just wish she’d give us another chance. I still love her, and I’m afraid that even if she never comes back, I always will…